sighs.i guess i'll be stuck at home the whole day today.sighs.that is,only if my mum doesnt allow me go out with atiqah.sighs.i really wanna go out with her la okay(:haha.and yeahh.im dying to take pictures with her.haha.wells,i really think i should go out.like...my friends have been to orchard for dont know how many thousand times,and i've been there for like a countable number of times.like...sigh.i cant explore the world.she expects me to what?to stay at home the whole day and play with my siblings??like...gosh.i just really cant stand it being at home.i mean...why cant i have fun outside?its not as if i dont know how to take good care of myself right?i've been doing the right things all these while.yet she doesnt have the trust in me that i wont do anything bad outside.its not as if i smoke,or go to pubs.or hang around with those typical malay people.like...no??sorry.seriously.the reason she gave me not to go out was actually because she was trying to be protective.like...hello?its not as if im going there alone right..its with ATIQAH.and its THE atiqah that i've known for thousands of years.gosh.even longer than hidayah la okay.sighs.like...yeahh.by the time she thinks im old enough to go out with my friends would be when im around 18??yeah.and by that time,i wont be bothered to go out already.why?coz my friends would already be tired of going out.and they wont wanna go out and explore the world with me.for they've already explored it before me,so much earlier before me.sighs.i understand that my mum wants me to be a very nice and well behaved girl.she's afraid that i would turn out to be those people without moral.like...what the -.i've been good in school la okay.and if im like that in school,in public??wont i be the same??sighs.just hopefully when im a mother,i wont be too over protective like her.wells,it IS a good thing,to be protective of your own child.but being OVER is like...not good.sighs.and i dont want to be OVER.sighs.

oh gosh.that atiqah hasnt called me yet to confirm whether she will be able to go out with me or not.just have to wait patiently for her call la,that is.i feel like going town.but with my mother being too protective,i guess i shant.obviously,she already went "you're only 13.its dangerous".like...gosh.
i wont change,dear mother.

sighs.